In order to instill confidence in financial advisors and undying trust in our financiers, they have moved to a new model of customer interaction.
Gone are the days of the local banker, the one who lived round the bend and was always in his pinstripe suit.

Well, I’ve never been an adult in such a time, I only see it in period film. I noticed a particular slant in a letter recieved from a customer service rep at a financial group I formerly patronized. (Although, there may be some patronizing to follow.)

The slant will be obvious in the quotes to follow, but notice how the great distance between us (I’ve never seen or spoken with this individual, and they live 1000 miles away) is supposed to be bridged by the form letter with an un-healthy dose of theroputic self-empowerment philosophy. Another thing before you read the quotes, did he dictate this with his head in a hat, while fondling some “seeing stones?”

“I close with this thought: Broad is the way and wide is the gate for all those who choose the proper path to financial freedom. Be not swayed by the quick and easy – the way is strewn with rocks, ruts, and dead ends. Discipline, desire, and determination are the keys to open the gate. I look forward to being of good and faithful service to you.”

Untill I typed this out for myself, I didn’t realize how abominable it really is. Perhaps this guy is a distant descendant of Joseph Smith or something…it sure sounds scripturesque.

Well, if you want even more gufaws, (or is it tears?) here are some excerpts from the enclosure:

“My Life’s Mission”

To empower others to find a greater fulfillment of their own goals and dreams; enable others to care for their families as I care for my own;

To teach others that which I believe to be right in both the personal and professional stream, yet never presume that my way is the only way;

To provide good and faithful service to you with dedicated effort to satisfy your needs. Not only now, but service after you being your relationship with me. I promise to answer your questions honestly and promptly. I will respond to your concerns as quickly as possible.”

The whole thing stinks as some modern manifesto. I think it should motivate me to write out some goals of my own.