Enough talk about predestination, it is time to bring a noncontroversial topic to the forum: my thoughts on modesty. The subject was spurred on by some thoughts I had yesterday in reading through a friend’s humble endeavor to explain the whys and hows of modesty.
First of all, I would like to say I do not include many of my sisters in Christ in the category of being immodest. Not only are their clothes, actions, and approaches honoring to God, but their inward nature of a quiet heart, a gentle spirit, and genuine compassion makes their outward beauty even more extrinsic. The lack of conceit among them is truly elegant. I have been struck dumb on more than one occasion over the past several years as I have seen the sincerity in faith of my sisters who love God.
Now onto business. Instead of delving into the, “what is too tight?” or “how much skin is too much?” I would like to ask some questions that come to my mind and lead the conversation back to God. The questions here are applicable to a broad spectrum of sisters in Christ and a gauge for men to see if they would be worthy of the affections of such a woman.
By the clothes a woman wears, the questions arise: What kind of attention does she draw to herself? Does she really have the freedom to wear whatever she wants, or does she indict herself with the sin of conceit?
In the long-term, it is good for a woman to ask what quality of men look at her and are bold enough to approach her. Will a man who looks at her first for her external beauty be a man who wrestles with God for her welfare, day and night on his knees? Will he be a man who is not afraid to cry in front of her and to try as best he can to understand and work side by side with her, leading her? Will she attract a man who will cradle her head against his shoulder as she cries? Will he be a man who will raise up their children in love, teach them, rebuke them, discipline them, read to them, play with them and stay up at night to wait for them when they go astray? Will he be a man who will kneel beside her and serve her when she is sick, when her feet are swollen, when her hair is disheveled and she is so congested that she never imagines herself pretty then? Will he be one to know her inner radiance? Will he be a man who will still be enraptured by her in thirty or forty years when her loins have been girded up with gristle like a pork chop, when her knees have gone bad, when she has gained extra weight, and will he still have eyes only for her??
The kind of bait a woman throws into the water is specific to the fish she will attract. If she throws out a line laden with bare shoulders, flirtatious glances, and provocative gestures, the fish will probably be a sucker and suck. The fish (metaphorically speaking) may be one who cares first about his ego, about what video games he is playing, about getting home in time to watch tv shows or sports- ie. ‘shut up honey, don’t talk, I am busy,’ a man who is amused by toilet humor and disgusting jokes (yes even some Christian, or “Christian” men), pessimism and destructive criticism. It may be a man who cannot deal with his rejections and hardships, but turns to alcohol to numb his pain and dull his mind, staying that dreaded task of meditating, thinking, and engaging the conflicts and emotional disconnects strewn throughout his life.
But if the line is laden with the inward clothing of compassion and kindness, a heart of love, this woman will likely find a man, the like of which there are few in this world.
Finally, brothers and sisters, do you really believe God has the best for you and will give that to you as you focus first on Him?? Do you believe that the same God who said, “Ask and it will be given, seek and you will find,” will not be able to give you much more if you seek first after God and sincerely aim to please God? Let us seek to follow that God!